Wanting vs. Getting

Why does anticipating something make us happier than the actual event/thing? How can we maintain this happiness? Do we just continue to want things, and when we get them, want other things? Is there a way to satisfy our want?

The first thing that occurs to me when I come upon someone who is always wanting is that they have an incurable desire. You know the people I’m talking about – whatever they already have is not enough. Most of what they own they probably haven’t used in years, if ever, and yet they want more. And when they get the other thing(s) they want, that will not be enough either.

One of the fundamental problems is where they are looking: outside instead of inside for fulfillment. I know a fella who is the personification of the kind of person I am talking about. He obsesses about something, like a car, and goes on and on about wanting it, scheming ways to get it, until he finally does. Never mind whether he can afford it financially or not – he needs it, is excited about it and gets it. Invariably, after a few short months or so, he is unsatisfied with his purchase. He has found another car that would make him happier, because the one he already has doesn’t measure up for some reason or another. But just wait, because he will be on the hunt for another new car in no time! With this guy, it is always the same no matter whether it is clothing, a house, electronic devices, or whatever.

I admit he is this way to the extreme, but so many people share this attitude. But where does this thinking come from, you might wonder? As a hypnotherapist I come across clients who possess this attitude and want to change it. As with many of the undesirable behavior issues people have, this one starts with the subconscious mind (and is really rooted in self-confidence or the lack thereof). Our subconscious understands and responds to the language of imagery, emotion and metaphor, and how something makes us feel influences our subconscious mind. Ha somebody ever called you an unkind name such as fat or ugly or stupid? How did it make you feel? Terrible, right? And when you think about that incident now, how does it make you feel? Probably very similar to how you felt when you first heard it. That’s because your subconscious mind has a memory of it and of the associated feeling.

For many people, anticipation produces a good feeling. Sometimes even a euphoric feeling! And we often chase good feelings, trying to reproduce the same feeling with a similar action, whether it is buying something new, taking a drink or drugs, going to a favorite spot, etc. Usually the repeat of the activity does not lead to the same feeling as the original one, but we try and try again. You can easily understand how this might lead to the behavior of the guy I spoke about above.

How can this be changed, you might ask? Well, in the same manner as many behaviors, attitudes or feelings – through hypnotherapy. Through the process of reframing in hypnotherapy, significant changes can be made, and usually in a relatively short period of time. Hypnotherapy is one of the most natural, efficient and effective methods for making change in your life. If you or someone you know in the Salem, Oregon area could benefit from hypnotherapy, please contact me through my website at www.skipnotherapy.com or call for a free consultation.