Stress = Depression = Suicide

Everyone was shocked by the news of Robin Williams’ suicide.  What would make a guy who seemingly had everything a person could want do something so tragic?  He had money, fame, a loving family, loads of friends – everything!  And yet, to him, his life was so horrible he couldn’t bear to live it any longer.  Why?

I want to share a story:  Years ago when I was a Special Agent with the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, I got a call at lunch time to respond to a suicide at a house on the Florida base where I was assigned.  The deceased, a 46 year old Air Force man, Lou, went home at lunch, put a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger – in front of his wife.  Nobody had any idea this was coming.  He never alluded to it, never told anyone he was thinking about it, and he had what seemed to be a fantastic life with a loving family.  But his wife did notice that he seemed depressed.

The investigation showed flashes of signs that, if put all together, may have raised the “suicide flag,” but nobody had ALL of the signs.  For instance, in the week before his suicide he sold some items he cherished and which his father had given him years before.  In the two or three days before he killed himself, he would come home from work and sit down in his recliner and just watch television, without even taking off his coat.  Two nights before he killed himself, he told his wife he was sorry for what he had done.  He did not tell her what that was, but we came to know what he meant was having made the decision to end his life.

His wife was concerned enough about him that she called the base Mental Health office, and was given an appointment for him for a week later.  That turned out to be too late.  On the day he killed himself, he went around to the five people in his office, one-by-one, and said “goodbye,” and that he was going to lunch: something he never did before.

There were things about Lou’s life that were stressful.  For the second time, he had to undergo an excruciating procedure to have his sinuses scraped.  He was getting the runaround about the base housing unit he and his family were given to live in, and a higher ranking person was later promised he could have the house and that Lou would have to move.  His boxes were not even completely unpacked yet!  Despite 28 years of experience and having just come from a unit that was award-winning (due in some part to Lou) he was being ignored by his commander about suggestions Lou had to improve his unit’s operations for an upcoming major inspection.  You get the picture – pressure coming at him from various fronts.

But hey, everybody has problems.  Everybody has stress.  And most people don’t kill themselves over it. Right?  Right!  I interviewed a very experienced psychiatrist about Lou’s case weeks after his suicide.  I asked him “Why did nobody see this coming?”  There seemed like there were some signs to indicate Lou might be dangerously depressed.  But what I wanted to know more was “Why did this man kill himself?”  He had 28 years in the military and could have simply put in his papers to retire.  He had a wife and two children who loved him.  He was financially secure, etc., etc.  It didn’t seem “logical.”

That was when I learned a serious lesson about depression.  People who are seriously depressed are often not logical.  At least that’s how it seems to the rest of us, but not to the depressed person.  To them, suicide seems like the ONLY answer.  It is the ONLY solution to their problems.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t choose that path.  Depression changes your thought processes.  It alters your perception.  It is sometimes an abyss from which you cannot emerge without help.

So what, then, is the answer?  How do we predict and prevent someone’s suicide?  Well, most professionals will likely say “you often cannot,” but I say “often you can.”  If someone you care about is under tremendous stress, you have to consider the possibility that the stress is changing them.  If the stress lasts long enough, it often leads to depression, and they may no longer think logically about solutions to their problems.  To them, suicide might seem like the only answer.

I am not trying to simplify the complexity of thoughts and events leading to suicide, but I am suggesting that if you, or someone you care for is under incredible or long-term stress, do something about it while there is still time.  Stress kills in many ways, such as in leading to physical or mental disease, and it can be dealt with very successfully very much of the time.  Seek ways to reduce or handle stress, such as by seeking the counsel of an experienced therapist or counselor.  Hypnotherapy has a proven track record of helping people reduce stress in a very effective and efficient manner.  For more information please visit my website at www.skipnotherapy.com.