Feelings are IT!

In order to help someone or ourselves effect change, we must change the way we feel. Every time we change, it is due to a change in our feelings about something. If you want to improve someone’s day, make them feel good. This is as simple as giving them a compliment. We seem to think that in order to make someone feel appreciated or loved, we must give them something tangible – a gift of some kind. However, it is not the gift that makes the difference, it is the feeling attached to it. If I give my wife flowers, it is as much the act of giving them to her and the love she feels as a result that makes her happy. She could just as easily interpret the act of receiving flowers as increased responsibility in having to find a vase in which to place them, the periodic watering of them, and eventually the discarding of them when they die. According to The Anxiety Satisfaction Continuum, her attitude about receiving the flowers comports with whether she FEELS as though receiving them is more satisfaction-producing or anxiety-reducing.

Hypnosis is effective when the hypnotist changes the way the client feels about something. It is the ONLY way to effect true change in someone. If a client comes in for weight loss, changing the way they feel about food, about themselves, or even about the underlying issue which makes food a source of distracted feeling (read: medication) is how they will come to experience weight loss. It is important, then, to use language which affects feelings in order for hypnotherapy to be effective.

We know that the subconscious is our psychological protection system. Since it is truly a child-like entity, it operates solely on feelings. If it needs to make physiological or psychological changes in our bodies in order to mask feelings, help us live with an unpleasant memory, or to “trick” us into feeling better, it will do so. We call this “framing” the memory. Reinforcement of that framing over years creates the neural pathways that become habits that may be destructive or which creates unwanted behavior or even other feelings. But those feelings are preferable to the feelings which precipitated them. For instance, if we are called upon to give an answer in class and are made to feel stupid as a result of our answer, we may develop negative behavior such as becoming more withdrawn, less confident or more introverted. In some cases, it may lead to stuttering, urinary incontinence, or any behavior which the subconscious deems necessary to reduce or eliminate the possibility that the situation will be repeated. If we find ourselves in a similar stress-producing situation later on, our subconscious may invoke the negative behavior once again, thereby reinforcing it in our minds as something we cannot control. It may even be extrapolated into different stress-producing situations unrelated to the Initial Sensitizing Event (ISE) where the subconscious determines protection is needed.

Where psychoanalysis is sometimes effective in applying a name to or a cause of unwanted behavior, it often is unable to “cure” the problem. Sometimes years of psychotherapy proves fruitless in effecting change. In hypnotherapy, however, change may come after only a couple or a few sessions if an experienced hypnotherapist is consulted because the underlying feelings which led to the behavior can be quickly affected. This often involves “reframing” the event or memory of it.

People ask “why can’t I create my own change through affirmations, meditation or prayer.” The answer to that is “they can” – IF they know how. Just repeating words, such as” I want to lose weight,” won’t do it if there are no true feelings attached to those words where they can affect the subconscious mind. It is more productive to lose the words and really visualize yourself as a thinner or smaller person, and most importantly, with the feelings of happiness, satisfaction or whatever feelings a thinner, lighter body would produce.

If you or someone you care about near Surprise, Arizona is struggling with unwanted or destructive feelings, please consider hypnotherapy to help effect lasting, life-improving change. Read more about how hypnotherapy can help or contact me at www.skipnotherapy.com.